The battle of the
blues has long since ceased to be about the actual match. A
worrying number of people have been known to blearily ask 'what
match?' before the penny finally and belatedly drops through
the' alcoholic haze: 'Oh right, that match'. Except for perhaps
the deciding hour or so of the game when, after two and a half
days of drinking the guys who can stand struggle up with
difficulty and tries to get their fuzzy heads around who is
losing or winning or whether its [yet another!] draw and they
can go back to their bottles.
The stereotypes at
this event are familiar to all and classified below: the boys
come to drink while looking at and hitting on the girls; the
girls come to socialise and show off their various body parts to
the discerning male critique. The former is indisputable,
everyone freely admits to it, the latter however... not quite so
straightforward.
For the female, a
Royal Thomian is a very important information gathering
opportunity. Once a year, girls get to see the male species at
their most vulnerable: they are drunk, their friends are drunk
and any inhibitions present are completely washed away with the
alcohol and the true self comes out in full glory. It is rather
difficult for the young Casanovas to be smooth and charming when
the sheer effort of keeping themselves upright gets in the way.
This surely makes for entertaining moments when some poor sucker
does try though. Under all the make- up, smiles, flirty comments
and carefully chosen clothes or lack thereof, •girls are very
very busy, analyzing the guys, making detailed note of all the
embarrassing things that they say and do for future use (guys
beware!). Slips of the tongue are looked for and remembered, and
invariably will be quoted back to the unfortunate boy at an
appropriate, squirm inducing moment, designed for the girl
getting her way in a remarkably wide variety of situations.
And after all this is
Colombo. If one girl sees you doing something awkward, rest
assured, within a few weeks the story will have spread through
the highly charged grapevine the domain specialty of the female
network. Of course, the more embarrassing the event, the spicier
the story, the greater the shock factor, the quicker it spreads!
It works incredibly well for girls, decreasing the chances of
nasty surprises in the future as well as enabling them to
develop a wide arsenal of information with which to inflict pain
when necessary.
It's a good system,
the guys have an awesome 3 days. with a terrific hangover at the
end of it, and the girls thoroughly enjoy themselves socializing
and end up with very useful blackmail material.
For the newcomer thus
advice from the other end reads: if you're here for the cricket,
you really aren't on the ball. Slip your shoes off and sink into
the wonder - licious merrymaking that permeates the senses from
all corners but beware you are being watched
A.D.S
